First and foremost..HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Haha..did you guys enjoyed partying on Sat night? I did, even though it was only 20min. Party when I'm having sup papers? Nah..not your type of partyin. It's something much closer to the heart than the tar and rocks on the road, sweeter than all sweets in the world melted together, combined with love that's deeper than the oceans combined. Yupz, I've enjoyed it alot. LoL.
Sat Burned again Halloween Surprise
Argh! Sat burned! Stayed home the whole day cause my mom grounded me. 22 yrs old liao still kena ground lehz!! Got lah, went out for half an hour to buy ciggies and had a smoke with Diana. Poor Diana was dragged out of her house by me. LoL. Boh bian. I'm dying due to lack of nicotine and tar..and wanted someone to accompany me. Andre wasn't home, Wenhui working, Jason..well I guess he's with his gf bah..don't know cause didn't call him also. SINCE I saw Diana online, and SINCE she's living the next block nia, and SINCE she's also a smoker and SINCE she's at home, she had to accompany me. I was that desperate. Almost wanted to call uncle James down. But knowing him, he should be chionging lohz, kns one lah. Still say what exams coming lah..bullshit. Haha! Went downstairs and while waitin for Diana to appear, I called HL to console her. Poor gal had a rough day. HL, I believe in you. Prove other ppl wrong by passing it the first time k? I'm behind you all the way!! Don't worry!! Hmmz..will be givin you a surprise that day itself. Don't worry too much!!
Ok as I was saying before I side-tracked..Diana finally came down, bringin Ah-boy and Ah-boy's child. Ah Boy is Di's favourite soft toy lah. It's a pig. LoL. Had been with her since goodness knows when. Aiyoh. Anyway I was telling her about the job and she seemed interested. We started calculating how much we could earn in a mth and all those shit. My god! Her eyes were as big as saucers and she couldn't help laffing and laffing. We'll become rich bitches man! Haha! We waited for her bf Edward to come and he knows that I'm interested in Motorola V3, so he asked me if I wanted to buy. Keep tempting me. That stupid phone cost 1.2k w/o line lehz! Piangz. Anyway, we sat for a few min then parted liaoz. Went home and started nuaing, playing GB with Kev and shit. Sigh. Sat gone like tat. *Poof*
After finish GB with Kev, he said he wanted to go out buy ciggies. I went outside to watch cartoon and didn't see his msn msg till he called me. He said he'd something for me, another surprise. Yet another surprise at night. Muahaha! Told me that I'd love it. I thought it was food, cause he says rather fattening, and was waiting to see what the surprise it was. This was the first time he didn't want to give any hints or whatsoever. First time he so secretive too. While waiting for him, I decided to see who msn me. Saw him wrote this:" juz doesn't feel rite w/o u tonite" Sweet right! Muahahah. I can see your hair standing le. Oh yah, he reached le and asked me to bring my cam down. I was confused cause nobody would want to take pictures of food what. I took the cam down and saw his car, so I stood beside his car and I didn't notice anything till he opened the door. He was wearing Num 4!!!! Haha! All my close friends know I've this thing going on for Num 4. I've been asking him to wear for me and he did! Haha! At first I thought he going back camp, it was until he told me that was the surprise. He actually dressed up to meet me. We sat down while he ate his supper-cum-dinner. I kept smiling and seriously speakin, I was really very very happy. Not that he came down to have a smoke with me, but the fact that he wore his num 4, SMART 4 mind you, to show me. LoL. You guys won't understand..coz he hate wearing his number 4. Haha! Moral of story? Love turns mind into mush.
I took a few pic of him SMOKING in the uniform and eating and sorts..Just love to see him wear that. Haha! Call me a pervert for all I care, I love guys in Number 4, I've a fetish for Num 4 ONLY. So what? Sue me or bite me, I won't change that thought. Haha! We smoked a few sticks and I came home to write this blog. I'm really touched by his actions. He stayed home the whole day too, just because I can't go out and he wants to "suffer" like me. Well guys, think I've found the person to complete me le. Muahahaha...sorry to guys who're intending to or are chasing me! You can't be THAT sweet to me..even if you are, my heart ain't with you. Get a life. Gawd, I'm such a bitch and he's loving it. I'm loving it too. Bitch.
Sorry peeps! So long never write blog. Was feelin abit lazy..or was it that I'm not home till wee hours? LoL. Anyways, I'm writing again right? So stop complaining. I know you're bored, go surf some porn or whatever. LoL.
Check up.. Half Hr Bus Ride & Lunch Interview Attitude Dad Confused+Jealous+Insecured = Love? Dont worry friends..
Went for a checkup today. My sides still hurt. Could it be UTI? Rin told me UTI will come and go, and fyi it's Urinal Tract Infection. Ouch. Sounds painful? It is. Sharp pain that come as and when it please. Damn. Supposed to meet Sue at 11am Tampines Polyclinic, but I woke up at 1030. Oppz. So change to 1130 instead, then I dilly dally until 1115, decided to take a cab down instead. Reached there 1135, but no sign of Sue. Called her she on her way nia. Piangz. Should have taken a bus instead. Anyways, went in, both of us blur blur, duno where to get the number tag. Walk in walk out, finally found it. Registered liao hey hey! Both of our examination room next to each other nia. The wait was so long!! We sat there till spiders were crawling out of my mouths and ears and flies were buzzing everywhere. Sigh. Yah yah, I'm exagerating. Again. LoL. Anyways, went in to see the doc, Milton or something. He was so damn cocky!! Fucking arsehole. Our conversation were short:
Doc: Why you so long then come in? I press the number very long leh!! (It was less than a min)
Me: Sorry, I was downstairs buyin a drink
Doc: What's wrong with you
Me: Oh I've pains, went to see my family doc, ate medicine, suspected it was UTI, ate antibiotics, but dun seem to work blah blah blah
Doc: When and where and how long has this been going on?
Me: Err, quite a long time liaoz..it comes and goes
Doc: When did you see the doctor and where? (cocky voice)
Me: About 2 weeks ago at my family doctor
Doc: When?!(fucking cocky)
Me: Err I thought I told you, it's 2 weeks ago
Doc: When your last period? You missed it?
Me: Err yes (forgot to tell him mine's irregular)
Doc: Go take a pregnancy test then come back here
Me: ... (he never bothered asking if I engage in sex or not wor! Piangz..scumbag)
After taking the stupid urine test, which tested for 6 stupid stuffs, of which pregnancy is one of them (Sorry peeps, I'm tested negative), I went back to his office. But this time he not so cocky le.
Doc: Ok lie on the bed, are you sure you take the middle portion (of the urine)?
Me: Yes. *mumbles* This not my first time taking urine test lehz..stupid fool
Doc: Ok relax *and he starts pressin on my lower abs*
Me: Ah! *Scrunge up*
Doc: RELAX! (That's easy for him to say, I'm the one feelin the pain)
Me:*Bears with the pain*
Doc: Ok what you don't seem to be in pain
Me: I AM!! Pain lah!!! *Points to where he press* Pain lehz!
Doc: Huh center also pain?
Me: Yes!!! @#$%%^
With that, I got off the bed, and what medicine did he give me lehz? Antibiotics. Again. Sianz. So went pharmacy took the medicine, but Sue was in toilet, so went outside for a smoke. Suddenly I felt very weak, the pain came back..or maybe cause the after effects due to the doctor mishandling me. Sue came out and saw me she was taken aback..I looked so weak. OMG!! LoL. Hate that stupid doc. Have to go back 2 weeks later and take urine test again. Argh.
Me and Sue decided to go eat, cause I didn't have breakfast. Went to take 291 cause too lazy to walk. We took the wrong direction. Bravo. Best thing is, we didn't know until the bus loops back to the interchange. Piangz!! By the time we reach opposite school, it was already 30mins since we've gotten on the bus. Steady? We took the wrong side lah. No human is infallible..haha. At least we got to "tour" around Tampines St 42, 32, 43, 81, 82..haha! Called Jacky down to meet up for lunch, since we eating claypot opposite school. Me and Sue betted on how long he'll take to come down cause he really JIN GAO TU. LoL. We're used to it already, so it's ok lah. We ate our lunch, shared a pot of claypot rice, had a stick of ciggy and 2 mouthful of our drinks before Jacky appeared. Lied to Jacky that I was pregnant, my medicine was to stop my pregnancy, and he believed. Wanted to carry on but was scolded by Sue coz she say she's very pantang, told me not to continue. Orhz. Had a few chat, then Jacky had to see Mr Wong. Sue and I went to change the batt on her watch, bought some plasters and she went back to sch while I went to meet Zhiwei at Tampines.
Me and Zhiwei went all the way to Parklane, for a job interview. You interested? There's still alot of vacancies lehz. Details please call my mobile. I'll tell you more into detail. Went in, filled in another 2 more forms, after 3 sweets and a short briefing, we were out of there. The sweets were free! LoL. Jokin lah. Decided to go home, and we bought tidbits to eat on the bus trip back. First time me and Zhiwei chatted so much. Normally we'll discuss school work, gossip here and there. Today really chatted alot. Sigh. Zhiwei's cinderella, hope you'll patch with him. He's really a nice kid lah. And he really loves you alot. It's hard to find a guy like him nowadays, he won't even give other girls a look. With him sure feel secure de lohz. Sigh. Went home, decided to pain my nails and ate my medicine. Know why? Stupid antibiotics must eat 1hr BEFORE food. Stupid rule. Think I was too tired le, so I feel asleep. When I woke up, my mom already home. She bought the Jap ball with squid inside one..then I slack the whole night.
My dad really attitude lohz. He's always complaining that we..or rather I don't talk to him. So I tried asking him a question but very attitude. Cause the whole family supposed to go China at end of next month de, but I didn't want to go. My mom was interested, but dad didn't tell her which part of China. So I asked him.
Me: Pa the trip go where huh?
Dad: *Thinks awhile* China
Me: Duh China so big! I also know China but where?
Dad: You ask for what? Go China means go China lah!
Me: *HOT* You are not answering the question lohz! Stop complaining that ppl don't talk to you, cause you're giving attitude that's why I don't talk to you!
Dad: Whatever lah! Whatever you say..yeh you're always right. (Fucking arsehole is high..damn him)
Sometimes hate my dad alot lohz. But I know I can always count on him if my funds are going low. LoL. Maybe that's why I don't love him bah. Whatever.
Sigh. I'm crying le. Don't know it's crying because of him or because my sides hurts too much. After thinking awhile, I believed it was a little of both. Why cry because of him lehz? After all he treats me so good (sometimes), he cares alot about me (not today) and he's always worrying about me. Well..it's simple enough. He don't get jealous, not even a teensy weensy little bit when I meet guys (he's confident in himself and he trusts you?), he breaks promises made to me most of the times (slip of mind? Accidentally?) and he has too many girls around him (you too have many guys around you..). Come on lah huh, ever since I went back poly, yes it's true. I know more guys and GALS included, compared to during ITAS days, but please, my batch 02' batch of guys mostly born in 85, 84, 83..rarely will you get to see 79, 80, 81 or even 82 guys lohz. I say RARELY, not don't have, but RARELY. Those older ones also treat me like meimei..cause they're attached. They're NOT interested in me. The only guy I know should be interested in me right now should be Jason bah..and maybe Wenhui nia. NO MORE!! Him lehz? Always got this girl keep buggin him. It's time I bite her. *GNAW* Argh! I'm starting to feel jealous!! Cannot!! Sigh. That girl always find him de, and she's unattached. Always lookin for him, always asking him out, always calling him. Buey ji dong one lehz. When my guy frens are attached, I usually siam them lohz, until they have the time to call me. Argh. Ok ok I know I'm over-reacting, I'm jealous!!!! *1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10..breathe out* I suddenly feel very insecured. Really. He really treats his friends very nice lohz. And when a girl is down, you can't be too nice to her else she'll fall for you de..which I believe is the reason why she keeps calling him lohz. ARGH!! I don't like this feeling of jealousy!! Cannot! It makes me old!!
Many times in this relationship I've felt like giving up. As in really ending all these shit lohz. Ok I'm not trained to be kuang rong, letting my bf meet up with other girls and shit. I'm just not trained like that. Neither were my ex-es. *Don't compare* Hard not to isn't it? The only thing he wins Egg is that he always makes me laugh and smile and does silly stuffs for me now and then. That's all. Egg always sends me home, even if he no car..up to my doorstep, he don't expect me to treat him eat, he don't smoke my ciggies, he don't talk to girls, and of course don't go out with them, he don't sleep when I'm over, in short I feel rather secured. Maybe that's why I used to want to marry him. Cause he'll never go out to fool around, that I can count on. Difference is, I never had the same trust in Egg that I have in Kev. I trust Kev alot, goodness knows why also, esp since there's girls crawling around him most of the time. Trust is one thing, being jealous is another. I can't stop myself from being jealous right? Furthermore I used to be a jealous freak, a green eyed monster 24/7 for the past duno how many donkey years. It's due to jealousy that I left Jason too. I don't like this jealousy thing. It makes me feel so immature, getting jealous over a simple platonic friendship between my bf and his female friend. Sigh. Long time never jealous until like that le. I must be crazy le. Think I'm too deeply in love, time to let myself out abit..don't wish to get hurt in the end again. As Jolin's song goes "爱一个人别太认真你受伤的眼神 令人心疼 没有一个人非要另一个人才能过一生 你又何苦逼自己面对伤痕." How true..nobody is indispensable in this world, I don't live for anybody but myself. Putting too much love in a r/s might bring me hurt in the end. Guess it's time to put lesser love bit by bit. Getting jealous is a way of gettin hurt already..and I don't like it. I don't like gettin jealous. Seriously. Hate that feeling. I love him, yes I do. I like the time spent together, I felt very much in love. All friends around me can see that I'm happy in this r/s. Or could what Erin said be true? Hope not. Choy! I remembered HL asking me if Kev was the guy I love most and among my other ex, is he the one that treats me the best. I replied her that this is the r/s that I'm happiest in, but he's not the guy who treats me the best. Whatever.
What's wrong with me? Crazy girl. Stop thinking of all these shit and concentrate on your papers! You've 3 sup papers for goodness sake! Stop thinkin about him..*nags*. Sigh. Don't worry peeps, I'll be ok in a few days de, I just need time and my own personal space for me to think thru things awhile and I'll be alright. I'm old enough to know what's right and what's wrong. And peeps, don't worry abt my sup, I'm the one who should be worrying (hear that mom?), not you guys k? I'll take care of myself de. Furthermore, I'll be working soon, there's no time for me to get jealous. Maybe the r/s will go stale, cause no time to accompany him and all those shit..but at least I'll still have you guys right? You guys are/were always there for me when I needed you guys. Thank you.
Woah..I'd such a nice time over at the chalet that it doesn't feels good to be home. At chalet I'm surrounded by my friends, and anytime I want to go for a spin either alone or with somebody, I do it. Why? Cause I rented a Hyundai Getz. Yellow color de. So nice to drive and I always have company when I'm out for spins. So shiok. Chalet 2 days, ended on Wed morning, then met up with dear and sort of "stayed" overnight at his house. Sigh.
18th Oct, first day chalet
Woah. I woke up at 9+ remembering that I had not wrapped Sue or Nelson's present, nor had I download the songs into her mp3 player. I sat down and started transferring the songs from my comp into her mp3 player and went out to buy wrapping papers as well as guests books. Decided to take a cab down to Sue's house since I was rushing to pick up the car. Damn. I was cheated man. Vincent (the original guy who rent me the car) told me that I could collect it at Sengkang, near Compassvale point there. But according to Alvin (Vincent out of SG), I've to pay $20 for that kind of service. Since me and Sue were pressing for time today, I decided to pay that fucking $20 and get the car down. I chose the pickup point to be at Sue's block so we can get off from there. When I went there, I saw this cute little car sitting there and this rather cute looking guy waiting at the table. The guy stood up and introduced himself as Alvin. Hmmz. Signed some documents and the car keys were in my hands. I was excited and happy, cause finally a car to call my own for the next 48hrs. LoL. Sue was afraid that I'm not used to driving the Getz since the last 4 times I drove was Kev's Lancer. So we took it for a spin in the carpark. Not bad..rather smooth. Ok. So we went to buy food. Piangz! I actually had to do u-turn and up a multi storey carpark!! This was something Kev haven't teach me yet lehz! LoL. It's ok..the u-turn was pretty good and as for the multi storey carpark, it was smooth sailing. The bend were rather large and getz is very small nia. LoL. Went to buy alot of food then I went to buy the P-plate. Yupz. I gotten my license on 30th of May. Not yet half year even. We drove down to Tampines to get her wine then went over to Jacky's house to pick him up. Ok..my driving relaly not bad. LoL. considering that I'd only drove 4 times since I gotten my license. Went down to chalet and didn't really help out before I'd to go out and bring someone in. That's how I spent my first night, driving in and out of the chalet. But I really liked that feeling cause I love to drive. I love being in control. First night was very tired but didn't really sleep. Went out for supper at 2+am with Jack, CY and WL. I drove of course although CY and Jack are more experienced than me. Came back and I tried to clear the chalet of rubbish. Maybe Tong Liang was feelin abit high, so he was rather close and touchy with me. He wanted to drive so I lent him the car and we went for a spin in the carpark. Ok, after being his passenger, I can proudly say, GIRLS ARE GOOD DRIVERS TOO. Haha. Slept at 0430, only to be awaken by Sue's ciggy smell and her pushin me tot sleep in the middle. I was sleepin on nothing..HL took one pillow and Sue took one pillow. Poor me. Sigh.
19th Oct 2004, BBQ TIME!
Jack called me at 0730 like he promised to wake me up. He very funny lehz. I was just in the room and him in the halls. He have to actually call me to wake me up. Funny ppl. LoL. Anyways, woke up at 0745, took a bath and was out by 8am. Sent WL, CY, Jack and Tong Liang home before picking up Jacky to go market. First time I go market with a guy and first time tryin that stupid small multi storey carpark opp sch. Bought alot of food and went Golden Bamboo buy the charcoal and stuffs. After that, went over to Sheng Siong buy more food! The parking lots there were full and I was havng a difficulty getting out. Stupid me go park in a corner head in, then come out no space to drive. Took me 10min to just get out. Piangz. Went over to Ubi pick Huiling up and saw Mr Cheng, me and HL's instructor. Waved to him. Told HL to wait for me at the pickup point, but she told me she at bus stop. While driving over, I passed by the Paya Lebar round about where they were doing road works and I was at the outer lane. I need to get into the inner lane and I was obstructing traffic as well as almost causing an accident when the lorry behind me suddenly stopped when I overtake him. Oppz! Sorry!! Picked HL up and went back chalet. Was slacking around, driving Bryan and Liying out and all those shit. Was 1330 and Jacky had to go school. So I sent Jacky to school before going down to TM with Eugene, HL and Sue to eat lunch. Multi storey carpark again. Scary cause CS's carpark rather small. Sigh. Not bad lah, but my parking sucks. LoL. As usual, what else is new. Went to look at phone and went to eat at pizza hut. That's my breakfast at a record time: 3pm.
Muahahaha. Yes my dear fans. I'm back. LoL. Where have I been these few days? Well, let's see..Friday I met up with Jacky/Eugene/Erin/Andy and Kevin, went over to his place and stayed overnight, Sat met up with Jacky/Eugene/Firdhaus/Huiling/Weiwei and Kevin, went his house played mahjong and stayed overnight again. LoL. Today's Sunday, time to come home cause I was fucked by my father in the ass for staying out TWO consecutive days in a row. *Ouch* But I really have to say this, I really enjoyed staying out. Haha! Have to keep this short coz tml going chalet le! And guess what? I'm renting a car!!!! LoL. Can't wait..it'd been so long since I last drove a car..my hands and legs are gettin itchy!
Holidays..
Finally holidays le. It feels good to be free w/o stress, although I might have a high tendency to take sup papers. Let's just pray hard k? Friday holiday liaoz, and up till now, I haven't really been home to nua or slack. I've been going out everyday, sleepin early (at least 6am) and waking up bathe and go out. LoL.
Feelin sorry for myself..
Damn. I'm sick. Must tahan. Tml last paper le! Actually wasn't feelin well yesterday evenin le, but it was Eugene's birthday so I had to turn up. My throat was itchy and by the time I got home last night (11+pm nia), my nose was running and my head was spinning. Kevin didn't do anything, maybe cause he had to reach home by midnight as he promised. When he got home, he made sure I drank a cup of salted water before sleeping. Sigh. Yesterday night's temp was 37.1 and he told me it wasn't a fever. Well, maybe I'm just feelin sorry for myself and in need of care and concern. That wasn't what I want to hear actually. Sigh. Weiliang msn me told me to take good care cause my temp is rising, almost fever le. Another guy in the msn also asked me if I was ok. All he did was to tell me 37.1 is not a fever. Thanks alot. That's all I get when I'm in need of your concern. Thanks.
Anyways, today my body temp really shot up. Morning I woke up with my throat full of nucleus. Sianz. My nose had been runnin the whole day. Took my temperature just now and it was 37.8 degrees. Is that considered a fever le mah my dear? Anything above 37.5 is considered a fever you know? If I go clinic I have to stand outside de wor. Somemore I'm having running nose. Wait ppl think it's sars. LoL. Was a lil' disappointed in him today. He msg me to call him, maybe cause he can't call thru or something, but why couldn't he call my house? Funny. Call him liaoz, as usual, we don't chat much. We just kept quiet most of the time. I don't like chatting with him on the phone cause we have nothing to talk about. Most of the time I'm the one doing the talking. Unless he's preachin me of course. LoL.
Today I feel too weak lah, and when I jokingly told him to go do his things and asked him to hang up, he told me he's not in the mood to. Yah yah, I've to give in to you all the time right? I always give you face, always give in to you. Are you takin advantage of me? Today I'm not in a good mood either k? Whole day I've been stuffing tissues up my nostrils and drinking herbal tea and such. You complained that you're broke. What about me? I'm broke too! You no ciggs you take from me, you go drink never bring wallet I pay, I transfer money to you when you're broke..you're really taking me for advantage. Your frens call you xiao bai lian I don't believe cause you DO treat me eat ocassionally, and you do transfer money to me when I'm broke (which I always transfer back to you w/o your acknowledgement) and because you're my bf I don't gey gao with you. But it has gone overboard. Maybe what your friends said has some truth in them. I'm sick and tired. I don't like to be taken advantage. I'm a girl. Give me face. I'm not working and I DON'T have the money. Try to understand my situation sometimes too. Whatever. I'm in no mood to write anymore. You don't understand me. You think I'm good to eat right? I'm not. I'm your gf. Treat me like how other ppl treat their gf. With respect.
Sat burned.. Friends Erin Suefong Jacky Huiling Charmain Wenhui Andre Kevin Xiujun, Jac, Jasca, Weiqi, Pefe, Mixi Weiqiang Weiliang That's All
Argh!! Sat burnt!! Sob. I'm stuck at home the whole day! Ok not really whole day cause afternoon got go out 10min and just now 2hrs. Argh!! But think I'm not the only one cause there's 22 ppl in my msn right now. Muahaha, their sat oso burnt like me. Sob. I hate exams. Why go out 10min nia lehz? Went down for a smoke with Kev. Why 2 hrs then? Went out with Wenhui for a drink. Drink teh-tarik. Damn I love the teh tarik there. Think he knows that, cause I was late for 10min, then reach there got drink liaoz. Muahahaha. Chatted abt almost everything. Chat about our sch work, our workload, my relationship with Kev, our friends, our dreams, problems faced in a r/s and hypothesis when in a r/s like seein ur other half walkin infront of u with another person, behavin intimately. LoL. See how boh liao we were? But it was comfy chatting all this sort of thing. Muahaha. Told him what I want in a bf, then what kind of gf I am. Chatted about responsibilities and friends also, and funnily, when chatting abt friends, the first person I thought of was Weiliang. Funny right? We shall discuss more later. LoL. 2nd person I thought of was Sue. Didn't chat abt Erin cause rarely go out with her, and she's always in safe hands, and nothing much for me to worry about. She's old enough lah, huh rin? LoL. Somemore got so many guys to look after her for me. My da lao po. LoL. We've come a long way. We knew each other in P5, but actually got close after PSLE. As in really close. Go each other's place and sit, chat..even up till now. We have our fair share of fights and quarrels, the worst quarrel ended our friendship for months. Ok I admit it was my fault. Why I go admit? Coz frankly speaking, I do miss her. I missed the bitching time, missed her hookin my arms when we go out, missed shoppin and crappin with her. Up till now, she's the only friend that lasted so long and still can tahan my temper. LoL. She's one friend that cared enough to sms me when I disappear for a long period of time. She's one friend that stood by me no matter what other ppl says. She's one friend that went thru thick and thin with me. She's one friend that's proud of me even though I'm such a failure. Woah. She's just too good. Sometimes I feel as if I'm not good enuff for her. She's one friend that knows my whole family and vice versa. She's one friend that whenever I see Pooh Bear/Piglet I would think of her. She's one friend I'm most proud of. She's one friend that stood beside me when I'm down, lifted me up and got me back on track. Steady right? That's why we lasted so long. Even with all the quarrels and such, she's one friend that's willing to forgive and forget and wiling to be best buddies with me again. No such things as start off as normal friends, once she forgives me we went back being best friends. You're da best Erin!! Remember, no matter how tired I am, no matter how busy I am, no matter how slack I am or how angry, you'll always be my best friend and I'll always be there for you when you need me. Understand? That goes out to Suefong also. Understand? You guys saw me when I was invisible to the rest of the world, both of you believed in me. In return of your friendship, I'm giving any little time I have to be with you guys when in time of need. Love ya guys.
Suddenly in the mood to describe my feelings towards each of the guys I love and willing to do things for. In words, ppl in my black book. LoL. Not many ppl have the chance to be in my black book. Why? Cause I set very high expectations for my friends, even higher standards than I choose bf. LoL. I feel this to be a long blog. LoL. If ya don't see ya name there, well, all is not lost. You're still my friend. I call anyone whom I know a friend. I can dislike you but no matter what you're still a friend. A fren doesn't mean I have to like you. LoL.
Hmmz..said so much about her liaoz. No need to elaborate much right? My best friend for so many years. How many of you guys can go around telling your present classmates/friends/collegues that you have a best friend and she/he was your primary school classmate? Close to zero I guess. LoL. Well, I'm proud to say Erin's my number 1 fan, my only fan. LoL. And I'm her fan too. I'm proud of her!!
Wasn't really close to her in yr 1 sem 1. It was until of her accident then we got close. Coz I'm always concerned (in other words, kpo lah) about my frens de. Still remembered the day she came school find me when I was having remedial lessons, and we sat outside and chatted the whole hour! She told me all her problems and I sat there quietly, listening to her. That was the day we started getting close. Was quite touched when she thanked me for being her friend. Sue, don't try to run away cause I remembered SOMEONE saying this to me, "XY, I hope no matter what, in the future even when we don't keep in contact, that I'll never be removed from your black book." So touched. Don't worry, I won't de. Anyways, I treat you as my best bud. You should know that from the way I treat you ba. I'm always there for you de..just like you're always there when I needed you. You always know when I'm having a bad day or something's wrong with me. You always know how to make me feel better, even if it's just a honey stick. LoL. You pamper me alot ah! Haha! Thanks girl for all you've done. Thanks for being there. I really don't know how to thank you. You'll always be my lesbian partner! LoL. I'm proud of you too! Even though sometimes you can be even crazier than me. That's why you need me to be there, and that's why I need you to be there. Remember white tiger!!
Jacky, one friend that I can always count on to have a last minute TCS (talk cock session) at anywhere. He's very nice, although sometimes abit long winded. LoL. He's there to listen to me complain about Kev, about Erin (tht time when we quarrel) and in short, he's nice lohz! A guy I'm worried about sometimes when he's down, cause..don't know why also. LoL.
Someone whom I'm very worried about, cause she's the youngest girl among our clan. Our clan got who lehz? Eugene, Jacky, Sue, HL, me and last time got WL de. Something happened. Don't ask. Huiling haven't really seen the evil side of human in society yet, so I'm more protective over her. Esp after that incident with another guy in her course. I treat her more like a meimei lohz. I want her to be happy and not hurt, so always will try to protect her. Yah yah, I know I always bully her. But come on lohz, it was just for fun. LoL. She's what she is today all thanks to me and Sue. Right HL? LoL. To guys out there who wants to harm her, fuck off. Try to mess with me first. You mess with her, means you're messin with me. Understood?
My own beauty queen. LoL. Hey Miss SG semi-finalist! LoL. This girl was the one who taught me to be attitude de. Guess what? It works. Haha! My AP girl with looks that can kill. Always there to scold me when I do something stupid. Never console me one, she just starts scolding and naggin. Can't stand her. LoL. She's the only friend that's younger than me and scolds me. Piangz. Very chor lor also. Typical ah lian. Muahaha! But I love her siah! She always wake me up from my depression with her scoldings. She's young, small sized, short but is one girl that's willing to share everything she has with me. That includes job lobangs, money (she treats when I'm broke), her food..everything lah! Stupid girl. Someone who knows what she wants. It's all thanks to her that I'm with Kev. Right girl? Thanks for talking to him. So long no see her..wonder how's she's gettin along. That's what I love about true friends. You need not keep in touch everyday and contact each other, but knowin the other party will b there when you in need.
Although I got close to him only recently, after knowin him since kindergarten, he's another one friend whom I can call and meet in just 10min flat. He's always game for a cup of coffee or just a chat in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Always feel very comfortable with him. His shoulders very nice to lie on also. Very comfy. LoL. Only lie on it once, when I was rather high. He's there for me 24/7 de. I can call him anytime and we'll meet up at the usual place, drinkin teh tarik and chattin nonsensical things. Maybe it helps cause he just live 5min walk from my house. Haha! If I'm out in the middle of the night having a drink, you'll know who I'm with.
Andre..my darling. LoL. Nah..he's just a very very good friend who dotes on me alot. Although busy, he still tries his best to make time for me. That day we just went out and chatted about the past. It was so much fun! He's a very very sweet guy. The sweetest guy I know that's willing to do silly/stupid stuffs for me. Last time lah. Now now, now ppl got gf liaoz, and very dedicated to her somemore. Sigh. When with him I'm always happy de. Talk about alot of stupid stuff, make myself relaxed. He's one guy I can't bear to see him leave when he went overseas to study. Stupid right? I couldn't let go years ago, but now see him so happy I also happy lah. Tell ya guys a secret, I used to have feelings for him. Yepz, but didn't want to hurt him cause I wasn't ready for settling down then. Sigh. Wasted.
MY BF!! Of course he's my bestest friend right now. But he can't be compared to Sue and Erin of course. He's the first one I always go to when I have a good news or when I'm stressed and in need of someone to console me. Back when we were friends, he used to talk things out with me, analysin my problems and give me solutions. He's there to console me. He and Charmain was the reason I chose to breakup with Egg. LoL. Both of them talked sense into me and I saw I wasn't goin anywhere in the relationship, so I broke up with him. They allowed me to see what I really want. And now? Well, he's always there for me, except the times when he's sleepin. He does little things for me that other ppl think are insignificant, but deep down inside, it means alot to me. Like sending my frens home, ditching his friends just to be with me alone, buying me things in the middle of the night to cheer me up (he bought me a slice of tiramisu cake yst at 2am!!), always worryin abt my studies, my health, always crappin with me and playin with me. I feel like a million dollars whenever I'm with him. Wait, make that a billion..no, make it a zillion! LoL. He gives me surprises. Although I feel insecure sometimes (make that most of the time..LoL), but whenever when we're together alone, all that negative thoughts are gone. Don't talk about him liaoz, else I write one whole night also can't finish. Love ya dear.
Xiujun is one girl from T11, IT/ICP AY99/00 that I'm closer to. I'm closer to her even though she's only my lecture mate! Maybe cause she's an aries like me! The rest are my buddies who never fails to remember my bday and never fails to celebrate with me, no matter how busy they are. And me? I'm the boh sim one. I always failed to celebrate bday with them. Sorry guys! Mixi is our mother hen siah, always naggin at me to study. But she's one that I respect the most. She's mature and I always listen to her de. She's one friend that I feel remorse whenever she scolds me for skippin lectures/tut/labs and failing my subjects. She has her tender side too. She's one girl I look up to. Pefe, well, my gamin partner during IT/ICP days. Known her since sec 2, but got close only in poly. She, me and Weiqi always go gamin at cyber de. We're always chatting about games and such. Very strong girl. Pei fu her also. Steady pom pipi. Weiqi lehz? A girl whom I can count on to crap with me. Suaning session is always on with them around. Target: Mixi/Xy. Jac is da jiejie whom I turn to when I've relationship probs. She's one that listen and advice me what to do. Her advice works too! No wonder some ppl married liaoz. LoL. Missed ya guys! Let's go out and party!!
Ok ok..so I'd a crush on him before. So what? That was so history liaoz. Yah I know it lasted 3 years. Still..it was the past liaoz. My ah gong. Another friend who always scolds me whenever I'm not doing the right things. He's one guy I'm very worried about coz he's in Aust now. Nobody takes care of him. He's another sweet guy wor. So much so that Weiqi they all thought he likes me also. LoL. He never fails to call me whenever he's back in SG and never fails to know when I'm feelin down. We always entertainin each other in the middle of the night de. 5 yrs ago like that, now also like that. Funny thing is we don't entertain each other in the morning. LoL. Always late at night. Both bored mah. Nothing much to say about him except he rocks! He'll always be my buddy siah! Thanks ah gong! Missed ya!
Well, he used to be in my list de. Until something happened. I stood by him in the hour of need and I joined Atomic partly cause of him and Jacky. Another part, well..as they say is history. LoL. He's one guy that stands by his point and is very determined. Maybe cause the things he said to me are too hurting. Why hurting you ask? Cause I treat him more than a friend, he's in my list. Anything he does, anything he says will affect me in one way or another. Like that time we were at fullerton and he says I'm not mature enough to get married. Fine. I changed my thoughts of gettin married. The present me won't get married until after 28. Because he's in my list, I take everything he says seriously and to heart. Even a single criticism cuts thru my heart till I couldn't take it anymore. But he don't seemed to understand. Received something from him as a form of apology. Was rather touched and was willing to forgive..until I know from Mr Andrew that somehow it was Andrew who had convinced him to do that. Sigh. Saded. Really broke my heart. But recently, my feelings towards him keep fluctuatin. Sometimes I want to befriend him again, and be like last time, going out and chattin with him and such. But sometimes, I can't stand the way he pours icy water on my dreams. Yes I know I can't fulfill it, I know I don't have the minimal requirement to get what I want, but as a friend, please, give me moral support instead of tellin me the truth. Believe in me. That's all I ask. Because I hang onto your every word. I was there for him but he couldn't see me. When I left then he realised my presence, but couldn't be bothered to retain me. It really hurts alot. Liang if you're reading this, I want us to be friends again, I'm tryin to heal. I'm a little healed, but you're rejecting me. I'm gettin tired. I want all of us to be friends again and can hang out, joking, crapping and such. I missed those times. Sigh. Don't know lah..I'm writing his name slowly into my book liaoz..but he's tryin to erase the name out himself. Well..time will tell......
Well, that's practically all lah. Oppz..forgot to mention Diana, Shufen, Shelmi, Wenjie, Karleong and Jiawei. Nevermind. Next time k? I have to go study liaoz. It's already 0132hrz. Tata and good night all!!
Slack Day What Xueyu wants, Xueyu gets
Woke up at 11+, was deciding whether to go school and meet Huiling or not. Decided to wake up, grab something to bite then decide. Charmain called me about meetin up to study, but was feeling rather lazy to go sch, so told her I'll be stayin home today. Went thru the fridge and saw..nothing. Had nothing to eat, so made chicken porridge. Yupz, there was a packet of chicken breast meat. Msg Sue and told her I'm making lunch, see whether she and HL wana come eat or not. They replied a yes and I got down to making myself dirty. LoL. Was thinkin what other side dishes to cook and decided on cabbage..wanted to make onions and eggs de, but no eggs, so just cooked a side dish of cabbage and another dish to go with the porridge, fried garlic in sauce. Sounds nice? Well, the sauce nice cause the porridge rather bland. It's on purpose de cause they (they being my classmates and friends) always say I eat too saltish, too sweet, sure get kidney failure one. Choy! Anyway, each of us had 2 bowls of porridge each, and had ice cream after that. Heaven!! Huiling and me looked for jobs, I was interested in the showroom that requires showroom asst during weekends only, but gotta start tml. Cannot lah, exams on monday. LoL. Heard from Sue that Nelson's dad will be exhibiting his product @ expo next month and is in need of helpers. Basic pay is $60/day, 12hrs each day..sob. TWELVE hours lehz! Die liao lohz. But for the sake of having something to do..LoL, don't think I'll mind lah. Anyway Sue working also, I'll have company then. Yay! After that, both of them went back school le, and I can't remember what I was doing. Think watching TV ba, till time for dinner, went to cook somemore for my family to eat.
My newest motto. Whatever I want, I get. LoL. This started a few weeks ago, when I wanted something and didn't have the money to buy or something. Told my parents about it and was given the money. LoL. But this doesn't necessary means EVERYTHING I want. I want a dog from young, no dogs. I want air-con, spoilt liao no new one. I want a new comp, have to wait. I want to have a brother, don't have also. LoL. Want to learn violin, parents disagree. In fact, most of the time I'm being controlled. Only certain things then I get what I want. This is also the way of saying I'm stubborn. My classmates had been advisin me NOT to rent a car since the very first day I told them. It'd been 1 mth liaoz, and now they just can't be bothered. They say whatever I want, nothing can stop me. LoL. Really ah? Maybe I should try stamping my feet, rolling on the floor, whining and threatening my dad, then he might buy me a car! LoL. Crazy. Just joking. But seriously, I want many things. I want new furnitures, I'm gettin tired of my room; I want a new comp, so I can buy new games to install..LoL..nah, my comp's old; I want a new hp, mine sucks big time liaoz; I want a new wardrobe, most of the clothes I want to throw away liaoz. LoL. Shiok right. Go calculate how much money needed. Think my room shall decorate bit by bit bah, else rather siong on my parents' pocket. LoL. Yepz, I'm the spoilt brat and pampered one in the family. The only one there is. Man, I love being me. LoL.