Sick

The other day, Saturday actually, went hospital to see docot. Friday my temperature went up to 39.5! Sat more stable cause eating panadol the whole day. Whole head aching. Temperature was actually 37.8 at home..and 36.5 at the hospital. Hospital got aircon mah. Anyway, today my temperature went up again. Yesterday whole day 36.7 cause got eat panadol given by doctor, but after reading the email of the side effects of panadol, I decided not to rely on it. Bad choice. I woke up with a headache and a fever again. This time 37.5. Sianz. My brain couldn't take anything in..not even a little studying. I cooked oatmeal for breakfast and decided to eat mee sua for lunch. Lunch..waste my time only. Whatever I've put into my stomach during lunch, I vomit out. Vomitted about 2-3 times today. Throat's pain. Head still pain even though I ate the panadol. Tml term test first paper leh, I still haven't study yet. Heng tml paper in afternoon. Sianz. Try to study again later bah..go eat med first..but I feel neusea..think I go vomit first then come back write..really not feeling well....
*Puke*

He don't get it..

Back. Yah he don't get it. LoL. Get what you ask. He don't get what I'm thinking, I'm feeling, my wants and needs. Yesterday I hanged up with him and in the end I msg him, hoping that he'll call me to apologize. Saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough you know. Actually what I wanted you to say is 'I'm sorry for blah blah blah'..give me reasons why you're sorry. Sigh. I yao qiu tai gao ma? Maybe bah. Well..with all the stress of term tests (tml first paper!! Argh!) and my illness, I just needed him to be there for me..emotionally and physically.
Today he called me, I was still a little pissed from previous night event..which I don't even know the reason why I'm pissed. I'm weird. Think I'm reaching menopause. LoL. Or my brain overheated a few days ago? Hmmz..anyway..back to story. He could tell that I was disinterested. Well, my life revolves around him too much. It's like I'm the moon and he's the earth. Main things for me to do: revolve around him, revolve around him and revolve around him. His main motive? Hmmz..turn slightly for me and revolve around the sun (other things). It made me look as if I love him more than he loves me..and that I need him more than he needs me. Maybe I really need him more than he needs me. Everytime I had no courage to actually walk away from him totally, and he's actually ok with it. It's like I can tell him about breaking up and he'll say ok, if that's what I want. Piangz..which char bor wants to hear that from the bf!! *Sob*
*Bang wall* Useless leh me!! I seemed so desperate for his attention & time, but he don't know. so I made a resolution: I'm not going to be the moon anymore. I'll require less attention from him from now onwards. I shall be independant!!!!! I'm a woman hear me roar! But wait..if I'm so independant, do I even need him? Well..don't know lehz. Wait till the day I become independant bah..haha! It'll take alot of determination..cause I'm so dependant on him! Argh. I hate myself sometimes.
Just now he called me, saying he not sending his brother to jetty le. I was thinkin the whole afternoon that maybe can ask him to drop by like he suggested..(I'm a very last minute person..very fickle minded also..bear with me!), but he dropped a bomb on me. He told me since he not sending his brother, he's going out to meet the singapore lancer club people. I was fuming inside. Piangz!! Where got boyfriend go out enjoy himself when his girlfriend is sick and need moral support de!! Even if I say don't come doesn't mean he can't come mah! He come le I also have to open door for him one right..piangz! Is he stupid or am I stupid? I'm a girl lehz..don't expect me to spell out everything one mah!I'm not that thick skinned one lehz..*sob*
Don't say le lah..the more I think about it the more disappointed and sad I am lohz. Sigh..go eat med le lah..tml term tests..pray hard for me..very very hard..
:~(