Insecurity Kena dua He completes me..*puke* Mid Autumn
Woke up this morning with a strong feeling. A strong sense of jealousy as I recalled the conversation with Kev just hours ago. He told me he chatted with Theresa and don't know why but my heart was aching like hell. Is that jealousy? I hate that feeling..argh. How I wish I can just tell him never to talk to her again, yet, I want him to blend well with my friends. Argh! How complicated and contradicting can I be? Why am I so jealous of her? Well that's easy. They look compatible, they're on the same frequency most of the times, they don't mind the age gap, she's pretty and he's cute, well that pretty covers most of the reasons. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOooooooo.......don't give me this shit now. I feel so insecure!! Buy a safe? LoL. Buy an insurance? I'm being lame..but my heart is still aching. That's why I don't like my bf..ANY one of them to be too close to my gf..why you ask. Cause I've no confidence in myself that's why!! Let me kill myself please. Argh. I hate myself. Why do I have to intro them to each other in the first place? Coz I want the whole world to know that he's my bf...*sob*
Supposed to be studyin with my 4 musketeers and Theresa de, but reached school liao Han Sim then tell me they had cancelled. *Diaoz* Theresa couldn't make it cause she was feelin sick. Boh bian, already in school liao so met up with Wenhui in library to study. He ditched his studymates and sat with me at another table. I did my studyin while he did his. At a point of time I really couldn't understand my lecture notes that my eyes begin to tear. I do feel stress..I really do. But when it comes to a subject I hate, I'll try my best to avoid it. Sigh. CKTCS is the subject I hate most and the only subject that I'm weakest in. Stupid. Why must it be examinable? Called Zhiwei and asked him some questions, and he was outside. Suddenly a few minutes later he called and say he on his way to school and came up to library to teach me. He taught me a few steps and I really understood them. He left shortly after and so did I. Kevin came over to pick me up go eat breakfast. Yupz..breakfast at 2pm+. I was just too lazy to cook at home and frankly speaking, my appetite lately hasn't been too good. Wonder what's wrong with me..anyways, met Kev at Applied Sci carpark and I was shivering with cold, even with my jacket on. Think I'm falling sick again....
Brought him over to God ma there to eat. Promised Godma I'll show him to her one day. She was happy for me and couldn't stop smiling. Hmmz. Duno why. Dun ask me. Maybe coz she find it funny, know each other so long liao then get together ba. After brunch, we went back to my house and slacked. We sat on the sofa watching tv, with him lying on my legs. We were laughing and discussing what was on tv and we got bored with tv and started playing Jenga while watching Chicago. After 3 rounds, we got bored again (we're aries, we get bored easily) and I went to the room and sleep. He lie beside me and hugged me while we chatted about things. Wanted to meet Sue and HL at Orchard but they going home soon, so called Shufen but she meetin her bf, so in the end went out eat dinner with Kev, Weili and ZZ. Went Hougang eat and dear was really nice. Maybe cause Egg wasn't so nice to me and I was being deprived of being served food and treated nicely for 3 yrs. Kev put me before himself, always giving me food first before he give himself. Sigh. I'm deeply in love. Shit. LoL. He kept telling his frens that he's worried abt my studies coz I keep slacking. Diao. ZZ keep askin Kev if he wants to send me home coz I look very pale and asked me if I need to go home study. Aiyoh, no worries..these few days never see sun, of course pale and as for studies, I more worried than you guys. LoL. Went shopping at NTUC and he wanted to buy me Choya coz I keep lookin at it. Muahaha. Missed that drink. Went over to his place and chatted for about an hour then we left liaoz. I drove home!! Stupid road was wet..so I was driving at 50kph. So slow. LoL. Sigh. Don't know why this morning I so sensitive. Maybe cause he means alot to me? Things that don't come easy are more treasured than things that comes easily. It wasn't easy having him..muahahaha. Love ya dear.
Was at home yst. Ate quite a few number of mooncakes. LoL. Shall not write much coz gonna prepare go school study liaoz. At night met up with Wenhui to smoke de, then in the end we were starin at the moon and drink kopi. Wait it was teh tarik. LoL.