School? What Sch? Patience runnin thin Ego Man My dearest
23 Aug 2004, Mon (EXTREMELY HOT) School sucks Dear, I love u
Haha! Didn't go for my morning lab! Morning timetable, 9-11 lab, then break till 12, then lecture till 1pm..then finish school lohz! Was at home at 10+, cause waiting for Jiawei to send me to school. LoL. Feeling very lazy today. He came at 11, then went school. He needs to borrow books from TP library, so need to use my matric card. Accompanied him to library, taught him how to use the borrowing system then me and Sue let him lose and go for my lecture. Sue became my secretary today. She helped me take down the notes while I chatted with my friends regarding Dexian's 21st birthday present. LoL. Sue said now she knows why I fail, with such a lecturer. Haha! Went for lunch, supposedly to be me, Sue and HL nia. Don't know why Hongming and Tiong happened to be there, so jio them along. Cause they told me Tiong's birthday celebration at 3, so I didn't expect them to come along. HL lied to me that Tiong and Hongming gone le. I was puzzled cause I just called him like less than a minute ago, and I wanted to wish him happy birthday in person. Suddenly he appeared then I realised HL lied to me. Argh. Was abit pissed. I chased her from blk 21 till the bridge there, then Jiawei called me. Went over to library help him borrow the book then went for lunch at kopidiam. Reached liao then realised Hongming not there liaoz. My lunch was paid by Jiawei, so I treated him to drinks. Sue and HL went to buy cake and bought a swiss roll. The swiss roll is for me to celebrate with tiong, coz I have tuition at 230pm, so can't celebrate with them. Went for tuition, Jiawei send again. LoL! Tuition finish liao, went Safra look for Jiawei, studied awhile then go pak pool. Saw Alvin there. Final score: 3-2. Jiawei 3 I 2..sianz!! Went central eat dinner. Talked about our primary school friends (he's my pri sch classmate btw), talked about my poly frens, talked abt Kev. LoL. After dinner he sent me home and we chatted for awhile below my block. He seemed troubled and we chatted about r/s and can see that he wants a gf..sigh. These kind of things cannot rush de. Fate come you want to siam also cannot. Relax....
My student was scolded by me so many times that I'd lost count. She was distracted, maybe a way to avoid doing homework. I remembered I used to do that, actually I'm still like that. LoL. She's irritating today, and cute too. She said I love my boyfriend cause boyfriend starts with letter 'B' and I like bears, which starts with 'B' too. She asked me if I was tired and I was shocked. Was I really that tired till she can see? The reason? Cause I didn't smile. LoL. Had to threaten her 3 times today. Told her if she don't pay attention or be good, I won't come back to teach her anymore. That made her upset and she was rather good for the last 10min of the class. Didn't walk here walk there, play with her bolster or whatever. LoL. Who says threatenin isn't a good way to get things done? It works doesn't it? So who cares?
Our conversation thru sms this afternoon. BTW, he's my ex, Jason, whom I've broken up with like 3yrs+ back. Just give it up will ya? It's over, ya didn't treasure me then, then don't treasure me now.
Me: Jason, I'm sorry if i've given you the wrong impression..treasure ur gf, she is the one you need..
Him: Don u need mi meh?
Me: No I don't. I need Kevin more than I'll ever need you..
Him: Ok lor...Since you wan to lie to urself..But i dare 2 say if i no gf u will b wif mi...
Me: No I won't (was irritated liao)
Him: Ok lor...
Angry!! Why must he do this kind of things? Why must say these words lohz. Can't he feel that I love Kevin alot? Either he's blind or he's stupid. Sigh. Guys, please appreciate and treasure your gf before they break up with you. Don't try to salvage the problem AFTER everything's gone. Don't be like Jason either, don't be an ego-maniac. Girls hate that. LoL. Jason, keep trying lah huh, I've realised that I'm deeply in love, so stop trying to get me out cause I want to be stuck in love...
ARGH!!! All that I've wrote was gone! Stupid blogger!! Argh. To cut things short, we're ok le. He's ok le. LoL. Where to find such a nice bf? Well, look no further, that's my Kev, but stop looking cause he's taken. LoL. He's really damn ultimate bf. He's that loving, that caring, that sweet, that trusting, that calm and most of all, he loves me. I didn't know what to message him today, cause still feeling guilty, guilty in making him upset. Was having lunch then saw his message: Have you eaten? It's just a simple message, yet it shows the concern he have for me. Dear, you wrote in ur blog that I seemed to be upset yesterday night when you were reasoning with me. I was. Cause you were upset and I didn't know how to make you smile and want to hug me again. It was the longest 30 min in my life without talking to you, without you looking at me, without you talking to me, without you hugging me. I felt lost. I don't wish to see another unhappy look on ur face anymore. It hurt me so. And after reading his blog, my heart ached. I didn't realise he was THAT upset. *Ouch* Warned him about Jason lookin him up in camp, and told him not to believe whatever Jason would say to him. Dear replied me that he won't cause he trusts me. I felt happy. Now I'm happily attached. Back off Jason! You have to try harder to break us up. LoL. I'm now waiting for him to reach home cause he went KTV with his frens. Why I didn't go? Cause I was lazy/tired/paiseh/cashless. I agreed to meet Jiawei liaoz, and told Sue I couldn't go down for Meiyi's bday, so if I were to go ktv, sure kena fucked till jialat jialat. Told dear to bathe le then call me and he replied "shi de lao po da ren". My heart melt liaoz. Really melt le..he don't really pass out these kind of mushy talks often. Also good lah, so I won't be immune to it. LoL. It's nice to hear these once in a while k. LoL. Dear thanks for everything and sorry for everything. I love you!! *Muacks*
Yah yah, I know. School starts le and I still come home late. Come on..give me a break. I'm frustrated enough already..
Today (Mon) is a very hot day. It's a sucky day. First of all, I got to school early, which is unlike me. Stupid bus. Got into the lift, saw my lecturer, the very same bitch who had hit me on the arm for playin with short circuits. She patted me on my back when I got into the lift. Go class, patch circuit, then came to 2nd part of another circuit where I had to answer the question, so bored that I left for breakfast. Met Sue, HL and Jacky at Short Circuit(Engineerin canteen #1). Chatted for abt 15min then I went back class. Was just in time to play with the speaker. Copied the lab answers that were flashed on the board then go liaoz. Was late for the nxt class loh, all because that bitch wanted us to listen to birds chirpping from the speaker. Na Bey. During ICPDD, Wang Xin asked if we wanted to go KTV, and asked me to organise. Wanted to put on this coming Fri, but Dexian says he got chalet..it's his 21st birthday!! LoL. Xian xian finally grow up le. Decided to give him ang bao for his bday. All of us giving $10 each. He so rich, think our money also not much a diff. Went for lunch with Sue and HL, they paid for my lunch today. Why leh? Cause dad didn't transfer money yet mah. KNS. Was late for my 1pm lecture, which I thought was AICDES. Reached there liao then realised it was ICAPP. That stupid China man's class. I walked in 15min late and sat down near the door. He stopped teaching until I've found my seat next to Zhiwei. Kns. Fucker. During the whole lecture he kept staring at me, as if waitin for me to make a mistake like talk too loudly or laughing. After school met up with Eugene, Elton, CY, Sue and HL go BB (breadboard, engineering #2 canteen) eat tea. No cash. So how? Drinks Sue pay, my dumplings Eugene pay. Nice hor? I rarely get treated like this, and frankly speaking, I don't feel real good. Maybe coz usually it's the other way round..argh! I'm feelin so insecure w/o money!! Chatted with them till 4plus then I went home bathe before meeting up with HL and tiong go serangoon. Meeting my dear today...
I mean it. I've come to realise that Jason's appearance into my life again is just a sign telling me that I've come to love Kevin alot. And I do mean ALOT. I care for him more than I care for myself. I treat him nicer than I treat myself. I want his attention more than anything else. Met him up for dinner just now, treated him to chicken cutlet rice and drinks. Dinner at chomp chomp with HL and tiong. Kev as usual, was friendly. Went to his house after dinner. We laid on his bed and watch shao nian te gong dui, this variety show by 5566, my fav band. We were laughing our heads off and I had to coax him to go bathe. I wanted to leave at 1030 de, was thinking of going home alone, so he no need so ma fan. He finished bathing at 1030, so boh bian. We played wrestling and my phone rang. It was Jason. By the time I hang up the phone, dear wasn't in the mood to talk. He told me he didn't like the way I talk to Jason. He didn't even want to look at me or hug me. I was feeling really upset. I decided to go home on my own, instead of him sending me home. He didn't stop me when I left his house. He called me only when I'm about to reach his condo gates. He told me he'll send me home and I waited for him at the lobby. Thruout the whole journey, we didn't talk. He reached my place liao then we smoked and talked. I didn't look at him in the eyes, cause I was feeling guilty. Shouldn't have talked to Jason. Damn! Dear was very calm, didn't quarrel at all. He reasoned things out with me. He left me with mixed emotions. Reached home liao then came onto msn, he was on. We chatted awhile before I realise why he wanted to send me home. He was afraid Jason might wait for me at my block. Nice right? Supposed to be pissed but he still send me home cause he's worried. Maybe I should have more confidence in myself..I really need to...else I don't know what else might happen in the future...*touch wood*