School
Woah! Today first paper! AICDES! Didn't really study for the past few days, so today met Zhiwei at 8am in school to study. I reached school around 7:45am. Early hor? Best thing is I slept around 2+am (think so ba, duno how long I lay awake on the bed) and woke up at 6am. AUTOMATICALLY!! Steady right? Went school and kept thinking of what he asked me yesterday. *pls read under the HIM section* Actually reached school BEFORE 745 de, but was too frustrated to know what I'm doing, so just stood at the bus stop and smoked. Gawd, that feels good. At least it cleared my mind for awhile, making me realise what are my priorities for today.
Normally what would you do before going into the exam hall? Pee or shit right? Well, I didn't pee cause it was only an hour paper and I expected to come out before 1050hrs. Went in, realised the invigilator is Toh LN, and she rather sayang me one. Had never scolded me before. Haha! She kept smiling at me, reassuring me that I would do well in today's test. LoL. She should see what I had studied. Zilch on chp 2. Saw the paper, first question don't know how to do liaoz. Heng Waikeong sit beside me and I just asked him. He drew 3 pmos parallel to each other and I asked him what gate was that. In case you're wondering, the question is: Draw the 4 terminals schematic diagram for a 3-input NAND gate and NOR gate. I went huh and WTH? Still blur ba, due to lack of sleep. Until WK drew the pmos in thin air then I realised chey! Draw schematic!! Haha..but 4 terminals for a 3-input u say. A transistor has 4 terminals, mainly: Source, Gate, Drain and Bulk. Haha, like that 8 points liaoz. I do until I very blur, very tired. At 1045, Dexian was the first to leave. I was like, wa lao. I tried to finish up by 1049, but when I finished writing my last sentence, it's already 1050 and Toh LN said that we can't leave the examination hall. As I mentioned earlier, she sayang me alot right? By now my bladder bursting liaoz, so i gave her a very pained look. She came over and asked me what's wrong (so nice of her), I told her I need to go toilet urgently. So she asked me to pack up and go. She's the best! Haha, Theresa saw me going and tried to tell Toh that she needs to go, but she forbid Theresa from going. Muahaha!! This goes to show that it's always better to be in your lecturer's good books. Mind you, I don't suck up to lecturers. I suan lecturers. It's up to them if they like me or not. Like that stupid Shen XF, he hates me to the core I tell you! Think today feel so weak must be his doing. Think he playing with voodoo dolls in his cubicle..and the voodoo doll has my matriculation number on it! LoL.
Went Century Sq with Sue, Huiling, Jacky and WL for lunch. My lips was hurting so badly! Yeah, my cold sore is still around and it's killin me. I can't eat anything saltish at all. *Pain* After lunch Huiling told me something between her and someone, which I guessed she don't want the rest to know cause she pulled me to one side and tell me de. Well, Huiling if you're reading this, don't worry, I know when to keep secrets and when not to..wait, should be I know which secrets are meant to be kept and which are not. I shall keep this secret for you de. Just don't worry your little head over it k? Don't fret but don't be like me..I'm suffering!
Was supposed to go out and study with my 4 musketeers and Theresa de. Up till now haven't confirm time and place. *Diao* $0.35. Sigh. Msg Zhiwei just now then he told me to call Theresa, who in turn asked me to call Han Sim, who was just too busy to entertain me and told me to call Hong Ye. *Diao Diao Diao* $0.70!! Now I wait for them to call me liaoz. Stupid Dexian. Must inform him to come pick me up ah. That stupid pig! Argh.
Today hor, I thought of a sentence, wanted to put in msn nick de, but find it like rather sad. The sentence goes like this: The greatest pain is not not being loved by the person you love, but the greatest pain is both of you love each other yet can't be together...
Him
He asked me to be his gf yesterday!!!! Haha! Was in a shock coz yesterday's blog I just mentioned that he won't ask me to be his. Was shocked..really shocked. This is what happened yesterday:
Him: i'm troubled
Me:y?
Him: did u notice something
Him: when i'm at ur place
Him: i feel like i'm so at home
Him: hm ..
Me: ah huh then
Him: then its like we're in a relationship
Me: so is that good or bad?
Him: this 1 where gt gd bad 1 ?
Me: huh if good then y u troubled?
Me: maybe we're progressing too fast?
Him: hm .. how come u dun ask me wad thing ?
Me: what wad thing?
Me: i did ask u why u troubled..scroll up (was in a rather bad mood then, that's y so attitude)
Him: i gt this urge to ask u whether u could let me to take care of u ..
Him: but .. i'm afraid of hurtin u ..
Him: i'm scared i cant be that gd as a bf to u ..
Me: ...
Him: any advice ?
Me: any advice? haha..
Me: i wrote in my blog like 1 hr ago, saying i'm afraid to b with u coz i'll b the one hurt in the end
Him: ... (didja realise we bth like to ... alot?)
Him: hm .. so wad do u reckon .. ? my dear ..
Me: i duno
Him: honestly .. i cant the insecurity oso ..
Him: i like u .. i like ur company .. i want ur attention
Him: but i cant stand it when i know that all these will be gone once u accept someone else
The rest hor..is all on phone calls liaoz. This is the first time he asks a girl..was told that I should be flattered. Hmmz..orhz. LoL. Was rather frustrated cause I know he don't want to commit now, so why ask? He told me that he wants to give me a name, and not leave me dangling there. *Sweet* But guess what, I'm used to it le. I told him I need time to consider (woah! I couldn't believe it myself either) thru this thing. Yes I do like him alot, but I don't want to have a short term r/s. I know I'll get hurt in the end and I don't wish it to happen. I'm selfish. Damn! Fuck it. Think it over when my term tests over. Anyway both of us came to a conclusion today. We shall let nature takes it's course and he told me to tell him if both of us are ready to commit. Well, it's actually on his side. I'm ok with anything, cause he's someone I like, so I'll try to please him. (pls, no dirty thoughts, I ain't no slut, just a bitch) Argh...recently need to smoke alot..under stress and the stress he's giving me is the BIGGEST of all...but I love him. Yeah..only willing to say that after he proclaimed his love to me k. LoL. Thing is it's thru msn..must get him to say in my face then maybe can consider. Muahaha, I'm evil but I like it....
Love my stupid panda...panda ksyx...