School
Today morning din go for lesson again. What I do leh? The usual, stay inside club room and studied for my quiz. At 10am, went for my quiz, then Zhiwei passed me my AICDES quiz paper. I was shocked. Very shocked. Guess what? I got 75%!! Woah..unbelievable. Today's quiz think I do wrongly alot of things liaoz. Went lecture then Emily suddenly had cramps, so helped her take her bag and called Nic. Nic rushed over and sent her home. It's this kind of r/s that makes me wonder why I couldn't find such a nice guy. All I get are horny guys or guys that want to gain something from me. Fuck man. Piangz, now crying liaoz. Listening to Dan Hill's song, Sometimes When We Touch. Reminded me of him. Fuck..
Anyways, this afternoon lunch went to find God Ma, ate 2 pieces of bread. Before that in lecture I ate 2 guo tie and 1 xiang chang. Up till now other than 1 goreng pisang, I actually din eat anything much.
Today's meeting was rather casual. Everyone's laughing and all, but the deadlines are near and I actually have no confidence. Argh. Went pasar malam with WL, Jacky and Meng Lei after the meeting. Din know Carlos and Edina broke up liaoz, kept bringing her up. Feel so paiseh. Carlos, if you reading this I'm sorry k? Public apology lehz. Pasar malam got personalised keychain. Don't know how to describe. You have to see it for yourself to believe it. The stall owner uses a saw and a piece ofacrylic to make into names. I'm gonna make 1 for myself, 1 for Sue and 1 for Huiling. Muahahaha..try to bargain. The best price I'd bargained is 4 for $18. Usual 1 for $5. Hope to bargain till 4 for $16. Best. Muahahaha..we actually had a competition at the kopidiam just now. See who can cry first. XY won coz nobody playing. Or rather WL ALMOST got it, but the atmosphere kena ruined by Huimin when she came over to greet me. XY can do it in 10 sec, last time lah..now maybe 20sec and longer, but no prob de. I can turn on my taps anytime, anywhere and any place.

Family
Reached home around 10+pm. Mom was watching TV and dad was asleep. My talk with dad shall be pushed back again. I recently feel so alien at home. Watched the news with my mom and made some comments. Really wanted to tell her how much I need a shoulder to cry on right now. But just now told her I got back a quiz which I thought had failed and in the end passed with good results, she didn't praise me. Instead she started railing and scolding me, saying the usual stuffs like I'm so old, people can do it why can't I, blah blah blah. Why can't we have a decent chat without my parents constant nagging about a past mistake which I can't redo? It'd been 4 years, isn't it time to just give up? Forgive and forget? No matter what, I still love my mom despite of the naggings she gives me everyday. If my mom were to leave me one day, I'll be helpless and I would rather join her than face this cruel world without her..
Told her abt him yesterday. Mom told me to fuck it (she din say fuck it, she say forget him). She says I'm not to go into another r/s currently cause I'm to study. Think I'll give a damn fuck? Nah..she won't either. LoL. Mom asked me what kind of guy is he. I told him he's a nice guy, someone whom my mom will like. My mom, trying to be lame say it's not important that she likes him or not(as if), most importantly he loves and I love him. Woah..love is too strong a word to use. Don't trust love anymore. Mom, this is for you: I LOVE YOU! LoL...

Him
He hor, today got MC. So don't know why he so hardworking, woke up so early. Called me when I was taking a bus to school. Chatted for awhile, was actually deciding whether to go find him in the afternoon, but remembered today is Rong Rong's bday, so had to take cake. In the afternoon, Sue say I no need to take cake liaoz, so I decided to pop by his house. I called him first, to double check just in case later go down see another girl in his arms. So I went lohz, but had to go back school for meeting, so can't stay too long. Went there hor, he was watching one of my favourite movies, LOTR!! So we watched LOTR at his brother's room. Was trying to tickle him, but instead I was the one kena attacked. People guy mah, I no strength de. Kena pinned down and was tickled, struggled very hard ah. If you perform a post-mortem on me, can see signs of struggles. LoL. Bought him a packet of cigg today, and took a cab back to school. Night time actually wanted to go out de, thing is he's sick and I'd communication prob with Charmain. So I went pasar malam walk walk, saw this key chain which I wanted to buy for him. Saw this cross-stitch very cute and wanted to make for him, but thought of his ex and decided not to. Like copying her. Anyway I won't do anything that makes me look needy towards him anymore. Just fucked it. I've a fucked up life. He asked me minutes ago, if I've a bf would I still treat him so nice, I replied no. And he asked if he has a gf would I still treat him nice, and I again replied no. So I asked him if he was interested in looking for gf, he says no, cause he thought I'm interested in finding bf. I WAS interested, but don't know now. Life is young, let me play and let me die from playing..told him nobody wants me and he say he wants me. I went Really meh? As if..and he said something that was meant as a joke but rather hurting..he said that I've to slim down somemore.......fuck it..yx, if u reading this, fuck it. You're making the feelings I've for you go lesser and lesser, you know? Just fuck everything..