I'm beginning to hate myself. Don't know why but after reading his friend's blog (a chiobu in fact), I've this stupid low self esteem all over me again. I hate myself. Why am I so tall? Why am I so fat? Why am I big boned? Why am I big sized? Why are my feet big? Why is my breast small? Why is my waist wide? Why do I have to wear contacts? Why why why?!?!
Sudden feeling of hate coming over me..I hate myself and I hate him. Why did he have to show me his blog? Why is his blog connected to her? Why did he have to be the only one that can carry me, piggy-back me and sling me over his shoulders when no one could in the past 1 yr? Why did he piggyback me all the way past Centrepoint last night? Why did he invite me to have dinner with him and his mom? I hate him for giving me these memories that I can't keep in my heart. Why is he such a flirt.....why why why........

Laughter

The only thing that made me laugh today was Sue. I didn't dare sleep in case she can't wake up in time to go work. Woke her up at 7:00am, but she wanted to sleep somemore. Couldn't wake her up..then i sat on my chair and nodded off. Woke her up again at 7:15am. She say she's gonna take cab and told me to give her 5 more mins. In the end, she woke up by herself within 2min. After she got out of the bed, I climbed in. The snuggled against my soft toys and she climbed in beside me. To get her going, I kicked her out of the bed. Finally she went to freshen up and I gave her a packet of nova coffee. After that, she departed....and I went back to sleep at 7:40am.........