I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!
That feels so much better. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! Awaiting for Wednesday 22nd June to go CGH for my medical appointment and to collect my phone. Lastly, I HATE HIM!!
Hey hey, thanks for all those people who showered their concerns on me for the past few days. Things are ok between me and Kevin le. Can say we were just having lovers' quarrel, but it was a major, serious one! That stupid quarrel made me smoked 8 sticks in over 2 hours. That's not alot you think. Hmmz..I'm angry but not THAT angry mah. That quarrel oso left some scars behind. Those who saw me would understand what I meant. Anyway..let's get onto today.. Quizzes!! Argh! After school..SHOPPIN! Dinner Time! Chicken Experience Conclusion, Summary..Whatever Was bored..took a break
Piangz..today got 2 quizzes lohz, 1 after another. First it was Cleanroom Equipment Technology, aka CET at 9am, then Material Science at 10am. Today got lesson at 8am de, when I woke up I was actually debating with myself whether to go APEL or not. If I've full attendance then my APEL grade would be 'Pass with Commendation', else it's just a 'Pass'. Anyway, I was tired also, so decided to lie to my mom abt school starting at 830 today. Woke up at 8am, went toilet and came out watch tv till 825 then realised I've yet to study for my CET quiz. FUCK!! Went to see how my lips. For those who had not seen me in days, well I'd acquired a pair of sausages for lipz. My lips are swollen, which is a common sight for my E009 classmates cause I get it everytime I'm under stress. Anyway, realised my mouth getting worse and rough. Those little so called cold sores had spread and half of my lower lips became white where the little "blisters" were formed and the 2 corners of my upper lip also kena. Argh! I feel ugly! I looked ugly!
Anyway, took a cab to school and this is first time in my life that I actually welcome the jam near my house. It gave me time to read thru half of what was tested today..it's only chapter 1!! LoL. Yah my CET quiz only 1 chapter, but it was so damn bloody difficult lohz. Asked Zhiwei for answer he also dun wana answer me. Stupid..I forgot the range for high pressure. Sianz. Anyhow choose lohz. All the questions all anyhow ans de. Hurry do finish le then went out..quiz upon 30 marks, I can get 15 I very happy le. DAMN!!
The MS quiz was so much easier lohz. Maybe cause I actually understand MS more than CET. Everyone was telling me they scared of MS, but I more confident, cause some of the things we studied before de, like BCC(Body Centred Cubic) and FCC(Face Centred Cubic), atoms, moles..more to chemistry bah. Secarly my results come out I fail..idiotz. Can go kill myself le. But I copied more for MS, cause suddenly mind went blank. Stupid brain, trust my brain to give up before I do. Throw face only. During the quiz, I whispered to John asking him what to eat later. I was too hungry to think about my quiz! LoL. after quiz first thing I asked was eat where? Haha. Went breadboard to eat, ate rice, very small amount de, cause later meetin Huiling eat lunch. Sianz!! 2 quizzes down 2 more to go. Next week is CKTCS, got confident so no need worry, then the week after is MTM (Microelectronics Test & Measurement) and the week after that is TERM TEST!! The horror!!! LoL.
Hmmz..keep things short lah, cause gotta sleep le..Walked around thinkin what to eat. Decided on Pizza Hut, only $5.95 for a main course, soup of the day and drink with student pass. Huiling cheated and used her OVERDUE student pass. LoL. Think next time can ask Kevin use Weiwei's one. Haha!! Anyway after eating we went walk walk around, then went nokia to fix our phone. My phone will require 3 working days to fix, the guy say my speaker spoilt or something. Anyway decided to fix tml..cause I no phone le. Wonder where my 6510 is..not in my locker lehz. Sianz. After that went to eat Haagen Dazs..I still owe Huiling $2 so I "paid" her by "treating" to one scoop of ice cream. It cost $4.50 k..so I actually treated her, in a way..technically..LoL. Went to Kelly recruitment agency with Huiling, the people there hor..very bad! Dun let me fill out the form!! I graduating soon k!! I want a form also! I want a job. Sob. After that Huiling didn't want to go home so we went to the Nissan showroom and had a look around. FUCKING HELL! A stupid Nissan March (Luxury) cost $58k!! And it's only 1.4l. Piangz. My Getz 1.3l only about $48k. Stupid man. We both took alot of brochures then went to develop photos for HM then went home. Long time no go out after school le, I almost no life le!!
Hmmz..today got a "feel" to cook, so I searched the fridge and took out a whole chicken, cabbage and brinjal. Went to my cupboard and took out a can of mushroom. Gonna cook the chicken, use the soup to make porridge to eat. That was my idea. Decided to cook rice first, so my family can eat rice and I cook porridge also faster. Took the chicken out of the bag and realised the knife not sharp enough, so I sharpened it.
When I saw the chicken I was like WTH!! I thought these frozen chickens does not come with a head! Damn! Now I've to cut the head away. I started placing my knife over the long neck and the left eye of the chicken was closed. Good I though, at least it's not staring at me. I hacked off the head and it rolled away to another side of the chopping board and I realised the right eye was opened!!! Fuck!! It looked at me as if it's telling me that I'll regret it for cutting its head off. Shit. Think I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. I took the head by the neck and threw it away. Dun even want to see it for another 1 sec!
I washed the insides of the chicken and cleared away alot of junks which I don't even wish to know what it was. All bloody and red, i just hurriedly wash away with running water. I cut off the claws of the chicken feet as I've seen my mom do and I realised those claws looked like women's nails. Damn! Lagi cannot sleep tonight. This is gonna be the last time I'm cleaning up a chicken!! From now on i'll just stick to processed chicken; chickens without head and claws!! This experience is enough for me.
Thank gawd at this moment my mom came home. I'd never been gladder!! Is there even such a word as gladder? Haha! She took over my tasks and I went ahead to watch TV, trying to forget about the chicken, which I think is very difficult lohz.
Sigh. K lah I've to try to sleep le, it's already 2355, tml got lesson at 8am. That means gotta wake up at 7!! Sigh, but it's nothing compared to Karleong, who's in Japan working right now. Kena suan by him just now..sianz. I missed him! LoL. K think I need to drink water..my throat very dry. Damn, think I'm very weak these few days. Sigh..any remedy anyone? LoL. Erin taught me alot about my medicine just now..haha! Thanks girl!! Good luck to your job! Think you'll be a great farmer!! Oppz, I meant Pharmacist! K lah..nights everyone. Ciaoz and drop dead!
This shows how lonely I am. Do not be taken in. I'm actually very lonely, I pratically have no life now. What with Kevin being busy and me having lots to do, there's no time to meet up with him, lest to say my friends. Sianz.Loneliness Quotient: 22%
Your Personalized Assessment Report:
Your LQ score suggests your relationships are rather healthy. Your score is on the lower end of the spectrum. Let's take a look at each area of interest. You are okay in your relations with your friends. This is good. Additionally, your family situation is not causing you any troubles. A positive family situation is definitely helpful. An area for improvement is your love life, which is not in terrible shape, but can be improved. Thankfully you do not have a problem with shyness, so pursuing romantic leads will not be as difficult for you. You definitely don't have any major insecurity issues holding you back, so your pursuit of elimating loneliness will not be held back by this potential pitfall.
Take the Loneliness Quotient Test at Dating Diversions
Tell you guys a news, sure shock u all one. Me and Kevin have broken up. Don't ask me how I feel..I also duno what to say. Yah I was the one to suggest it, but I didn't expect him to..maybe both of us are just too tired, tired of trying to please the other party.. 10 months and a day.. Some poems..
It's only been that long. For the past 1 month, time has been passing by so slowly. And I do mean slow. Maybe cause we're quarreling everyday. Yah I admit that sometimes it's my fault, but isn't it the guy's job to pacify the ladies? I was feeling stressed up and felt alone in school, so every little thing could spark the little flame into fire.
These are some poems I find quite good and best describe my feeling..
The Broken Hearted Lover
We have met we have parted
We have spoke our last goodbye
You have proved to me false hearted
You may now forever go
For I love you dear I love you
More than all this world I know
You have proved to me false hearted
You may now forever go
You have wrecked the heart I cherished
You have doomed me day by day
You have faults but I'll forgive you
To forget you I cannot say
Down among the trees and bushes
Where the dark green willows wave
In the cold and silent rushes
There you'll find my lonely grave
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Broken Hearted
-------------------------------------------
Broken Hearted
his head fell
I knew he couldn't do it
why did I think of hope?
I told him we were through
he walked away
I stood in space
between the billions of stars
against my fragile heart
it wasn't right
not fair at all
I moved on;he wasn't the first or last
but he was different;special
I knew he wouldn't be back
it didn't matter
it was for the better, right?
maybe not.
I don't eat
I don't sleep
I need you, you are my life
I made a mistake
we both know it
just say you still love me
==========================================
"Broken-Hearted Liberty"
It's just another useless night
One more day I will sit alone
But that's how it's got to be
With no one I can call my own
I ceased questioning a while ago
So I bear my solitude with silence
They've stopped noticing my painful sighs
If they could only see the violence
Don't break my heart, don't tear apart
All that's left of me
Please let me live, oh, can't you give
A little broken-hearted liberty
Now I watch the self-destructive world
Set a date for its demise
Judgement coems to those who wait
And it's going to be a big surprise
There you are, surrounded by
A few thousand of your closest friends
Such a shame that thsoe who knew you
Met with such untimely ends
Don't break my heart, don't tear apart
All that's left of me
Please let me live, oh, can't you give
A little broken-hearted liberty
A little broken-hearted liberty
Oh, can't you give
A little broken-hearted liberty
To me